Dealing with Self-banishing - How to live with Surrender

Take notice when self-criticism appears.
A certain thing acts as a trigger before you reproach yourself. You have cultivated a pattern where you subconsciously react to a situation. Becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings is the beginning of correcting your habit. Pause for a moment and listen to your internal critics. What are you saying to yourself?
Repeat to yourself; to err is human & forgive & forget

Boldly question yourself.
Is your mind chattering some old recordings of whatever bygones? Whose voice is it? Is it yours, your parents or someone who used to condemn you? Ask your inner self what it is trying to achieve? Have a conversation with yourself and boldly keep questioning each remarks and judgments.

Use different words to describe your experiences.
Words or the language you use can make or break you. When you disapprove yourself, you use words. The words affect your emotions and body sensations and then affect your state of mind.

Learn to use different words to describe your emotions and experiences. When you make a mistake, stop saying that you are stupid or useless. Instead say something that doesn't define you as incompetent.

Isn't it better if you say, "Okay, here a little boo boo. I'll do better the next time." It will help you change your state, laugh at yourself and lightens things up. When you are in a better mood, you can think well and find solutions.

Accept that there's no failure, just feedback.
When something goes wrong or if you have made a mistake, accept that as a feedback. It's just not the right strategy. Try another.

Refuse to give yourself a bad time.
Life and people are sometimes unfair. Look and find the positive instead of looking at what's wrong with you. What can you learn from the experience? It is no point giving yourself a hard time and feeling bad.

Instead of Subject Referral/object referral simply Observe.Watch the Punisher,witness
Just step aside from the chatter as its not you/but your old mental map which will take time & fall on its own if you do not feed it with your emotions. Become a monk while you do this. Remind yourself of surrender/raise both your arms in act to show it. it will vanish to leave you fresh.